first post of 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011 3:13 PM
I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything. I guess I really haven't had anything to add of late. I changed my layout (yay!) which I adore.
Perhaps I'll have something more interesting to write later on.
Perhaps I'll have something more interesting to write later on.
Labels: ramblings
0 commentsToday
Sunday, November 28, 2010 4:34 PM
I have spent so much time in Starbucks today that I know when I go home, my computer, my clothes, everything is going to smell like coffee.
Finals are beginning this week, into next (and possibly the week after). I cannot express how frustrated I am with one of my classes. This Tuesday is the last day that we have anything assigned--we've read every story in every single one of our textbooks, we have all posted and discussed our own individual stories--but yet he is insisting that our last class is December 12th. That's two weeks after everything is wrapped up, mind you. What are those two weeks for? We don't discuss anything other than the readings in class, but we will be done with those in two days. There is absolutely no reason for us to be there. He is awful at scheduling, especially since he doesn't take into account that he is always behind on grading our assignments. I would complain to the dean, but there have already been complaints submitted and basically the dean says there is nothing he can do. Shocker--someone who works for ASU isn't doing anything...'cause that has never happened before, or anything. It's completely unexpected. Out of the blue. Sarcasm is much harder to get across online than in person, I must admit.
At least it's finally becoming winter (well, Arizona winter). The temperature is dropping, the days are incredibly short, the clouds hang in the sky and the air smells like rain.
Finals are beginning this week, into next (and possibly the week after). I cannot express how frustrated I am with one of my classes. This Tuesday is the last day that we have anything assigned--we've read every story in every single one of our textbooks, we have all posted and discussed our own individual stories--but yet he is insisting that our last class is December 12th. That's two weeks after everything is wrapped up, mind you. What are those two weeks for? We don't discuss anything other than the readings in class, but we will be done with those in two days. There is absolutely no reason for us to be there. He is awful at scheduling, especially since he doesn't take into account that he is always behind on grading our assignments. I would complain to the dean, but there have already been complaints submitted and basically the dean says there is nothing he can do. Shocker--someone who works for ASU isn't doing anything...'cause that has never happened before, or anything. It's completely unexpected. Out of the blue. Sarcasm is much harder to get across online than in person, I must admit.
At least it's finally becoming winter (well, Arizona winter). The temperature is dropping, the days are incredibly short, the clouds hang in the sky and the air smells like rain.
Labels: ramblings
1 commentsTrinkets from the Past
2:52 PM
There once was a girl
Who worried too much.
Her delicate nerves
Were bundled in a bunch.
She would fret and fright,
Feign and frown,
Certain she had let
Someone down.
When the dark nights
Would slip into days,
She spent her time
Counting the ways
She would say yes,
When she meant no
And taking the road high
While her heart felt low.
She dreaded the day
Trinkets from the past
Kept her company
Forgotten, at long last.
Change is Gonna Come
Monday, October 25, 2010 5:38 PM
The sun still shines brightly, but there is a crispness to the air. Somehow, the changing of the seasons makes the wind smell cleaner, as if the Earth has cleaned house to prepare for the new season. A soft melody wafts from the radio to accompany the delicate temperament of autumn, and despite the slight drop in temperature there is a delightful warmth surging under my skin. I have discovered something unique about myself that I could not quite grasp until now. It is not the bright, sweltering summer nor the frosty winter that I enjoy best. It is rather the moments in between, the quick glimpses that we catch when one time of year becomes another, when we can say farewell and hello, both with delight.
* * *
Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter. ~Carol Bishop Hipps
Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. ~George Eliot
October's poplars are flaming torches lighting the way to winter. ~Nova Bair
falling leaves
hide the path
so quietly
~John Bailey
hide the path
so quietly
~John Bailey
Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn. ~Elizabeth Lawrence
Labels: ramblings
0 commentsThe signs are not looking good.
Monday, September 20, 2010 10:12 AM
As I sit in my kitchen, I see the dark clouds looming. Although I begged for cooler weather, with the drop in temperature comes a drop in happiness. Almost like foreboding, the shadows cast by the clouds start to seep into our souls and we are all agitated. She's upset, feeling overwhelmed. I'm lost, feeling buried beneath my responsibilities. I believed that the Valley of the Sun was immune to weather-inflicted change in emotion, but perhaps I was wrong.
We sit in silence, she, wrapped up in her own worries. I sit here, avoiding the things I know I must face. My mind tells me I need to participate, but the rest of me hears the calling of the bed. I could justify it, but do I? Maybe my mind will win out. I'll go through the motions--I shower, I dress myself well enough to go out but not too much that requires effort, I put on the smile, I carry empty conversations, I ask questions I don't really want to know the answer to. I fulfill my social obligations as a contributing member of society. But every part of me is begging to curl up and disappear for awhile. My social capabilities are starting to lack as I become more content spending time alone. Maybe this is me maturing, discovering that conversations are not unique characteristics. I say this, but I know this is not true. I reveled in a long-distance conversation, the giddiness of seeing my friend stirred in me for hours after. But I return to my present, the here and now, and find no reason to speak. I only speak when spoken to. My skills in the art of small conversation are waning because I no longer put them to use. I stick my nose in a book, or I wonder what is happening miles and miles away.
I blame my reluctance to socialize on the sky. Tomorrow, the sun will be out. Tomorrow, it will warm my insides. Tomorrow, I will want to conquer the world.
But today...I would rather sleep.
We sit in silence, she, wrapped up in her own worries. I sit here, avoiding the things I know I must face. My mind tells me I need to participate, but the rest of me hears the calling of the bed. I could justify it, but do I? Maybe my mind will win out. I'll go through the motions--I shower, I dress myself well enough to go out but not too much that requires effort, I put on the smile, I carry empty conversations, I ask questions I don't really want to know the answer to. I fulfill my social obligations as a contributing member of society. But every part of me is begging to curl up and disappear for awhile. My social capabilities are starting to lack as I become more content spending time alone. Maybe this is me maturing, discovering that conversations are not unique characteristics. I say this, but I know this is not true. I reveled in a long-distance conversation, the giddiness of seeing my friend stirred in me for hours after. But I return to my present, the here and now, and find no reason to speak. I only speak when spoken to. My skills in the art of small conversation are waning because I no longer put them to use. I stick my nose in a book, or I wonder what is happening miles and miles away.
I blame my reluctance to socialize on the sky. Tomorrow, the sun will be out. Tomorrow, it will warm my insides. Tomorrow, I will want to conquer the world.
But today...I would rather sleep.
Labels: ramblings
0 commentsdun dun dun!
Sunday, September 19, 2010 11:03 PM
I finally finished perfecting my layout, with the help of Miss Kristyna and some coding.
Call me hipster, but I do love some astrophotography. I am both amazed and scared by space--its limitlessness is both wonderful and frightening. I love to learn about space but the idea of being somewhere, with nothing to hold on to, is scary. I would fear that I would accidentally break away from the space ship and get lost in space forever. That definitely does not sound appealing. But despite this, I still find space wondrous and fascinating--I have one more science class that I need to take for school, and I hope to take astronomy.
Speaking of stars and mystical things, I have finally found my muse. After feeling completely uninspired for my Writing Science Fiction short story, I managed to stumble upon quite an interesting character. His alias was Alessandro Cagliostro and by every sense of the word, he was an adventurer. Just reading what little is offered about his life on Wikipedia, how could I not be inspired? He was like an Italian Robin Hood, mischievous and a thief, but also gave to those less fortunate. Quite amazing, really.
After struggling with the blog, a much-needed conversation with the bestie, and some time to work on homework, I feel quite accomplished. This was a (surprisingly) successful weekend. Not bad for having to babysit and help my mom at her work. Snaps for me!
Call me hipster, but I do love some astrophotography. I am both amazed and scared by space--its limitlessness is both wonderful and frightening. I love to learn about space but the idea of being somewhere, with nothing to hold on to, is scary. I would fear that I would accidentally break away from the space ship and get lost in space forever. That definitely does not sound appealing. But despite this, I still find space wondrous and fascinating--I have one more science class that I need to take for school, and I hope to take astronomy.
Speaking of stars and mystical things, I have finally found my muse. After feeling completely uninspired for my Writing Science Fiction short story, I managed to stumble upon quite an interesting character. His alias was Alessandro Cagliostro and by every sense of the word, he was an adventurer. Just reading what little is offered about his life on Wikipedia, how could I not be inspired? He was like an Italian Robin Hood, mischievous and a thief, but also gave to those less fortunate. Quite amazing, really.
After struggling with the blog, a much-needed conversation with the bestie, and some time to work on homework, I feel quite accomplished. This was a (surprisingly) successful weekend. Not bad for having to babysit and help my mom at her work. Snaps for me!
Labels: blog, history, photos, ramblings
0 commentsIf you really knew me.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 11:46 PM
If you really knew me...
- You would know that I fight everyday to keep a positive attitude
- You would know that I fear I will develop the mental diseases my mother has
- You would know that I have a hard time introducing myself to people because I think they'll think I'm stupid
- You would know that I have to stay medicated
- You would know that I feel pain in my heart when I think of those that are in need of help
- You would know that I'm scared to experience a close death and I fear the day that I will lose those closest to me
- You would know that I have never verbalized my deepest secret, mostly because by doing that I feel like it would be acknowledging its truth
- You would know that I like to know people's problems not so I can gossip or spread them around, but because it makes me feel important enough to trust with secrets
- You would know that, when I say that I never blamed her, I'm lying. I still blame her (a little) even today
- You would know that I don't know how to feel about faith and religion. I don't know how to name it, I just know what I feel and that's it
- You would know that I'm a story-topper
- You would know that despite or because of the things listed above, I know that everything I have gone through, everything I have experienced, everything I have done/not done, said/not said, regretted or wanted to relive, everyday I'm growing closer and closer to loving every bit of myself
- I learn, I laugh, I love, I live
Labels: ramblings
0 commentsCount your blessings.
Monday, August 16, 2010 8:44 PM
Maya Hayes: Dad!
Maya Hayes: Thanks for telling me the story.
Will Hayes: You're welcome. I didn't tell you the happy ending.
Maya Hayes: What is it?
Will Hayes: You.
Maya Hayes: Thanks for telling me the story.
Will Hayes: You're welcome. I didn't tell you the happy ending.
Maya Hayes: What is it?
Will Hayes: You.
Although this movie didn't do as well as it could have, this one particular scene resonated with me. My mother and I share a similar sentiment. Although she and my father went through (really) rough times, she has always told me that she never regretted it because in the end, she got me. She never ceases to remind me that I am her happy ending. I realize that a mother's love for her child is unlike anything else, but what is also unmeasurable in a different way is a child's love for her mother. My heart bursts with love for her and my heart aches when she's sad. I have never met a person that I am so in sync with--she is the one true person that knows me fully, inside and out. I can trust her with my deepest secrets that I myself can barely admit to; I can laugh so hard and for so long that we both forget what was so funny to begin with.
As the years have gone on, my relationship with her has changed. I worry about her--she doesn't have a strong heart, and I'm afraid that she's too concerned about taking care of others and neglects herself. It's like I know that if she knows I worry about her, that makes her worry about me, and it just continues in this vicious cycle.
There isn't much to be done about it, however. A mother will always worry about her child, and a child will always worry about her mother. It's a package deal with us. I just count my blessings and cannot thank God enough for blessing me with such a warm, caring, thoughtful mother. She's my light and I'd be lost without her.
1 comments
Really?
Friday, August 13, 2010 6:42 PM
So today I bought an iPad. Yes, yes I know...whatever you can possibly think of to say about them, I know. However, I wanted one and I think it's going to be super useful for school, so I bought one.
Yeah, problem is the people at Apple didn't tell me about all the freaking upgrades I needed to make for this dang iPad. I'm still using Mac OS 10.4 (Tiger) and apparently you need 10.5 (Leopard) or higher to connect an iPad. Otherwise, the device is useless. This wouldn't be such a big deal if the price to upgrade wasn't $170. I wasn't expecting to have to spend that much money and right now I can afford it, but I would also be cutting my money short. Not fun.
Well, I mean, I have to spend the money regardless. I want to use my iPad and I already bought it. I just have to bite the bullet...but this also means I have to watch my money really closely, which I've never really been good at.
So I say...
REALLY?
Labels: ramblings
0 commentsFinally finished!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 11:22 PM
So I've been working all day on my new layout and I love it! Some of my favorite artwork is called Vanitas, or emptiness in Latin, which was popular during the 16th and 17th centuries. Often times images like skulls, spilled wine, gold, flowers or fruit wilted and rotten, musical instruments, mirrors and so on. These all represented the shortness of life and how the material objects we collect in this lifetime cannot travel with us when we die. For example, a skull represents the inevitable death--after all, there are only two things in life that are certain: taxes and death. Flowers can represent fleeting beauty that disappears with age. Clocks obviously symbolize time and how it ticks by, not stopping for anyone or anything.
This may all sound kind of depressing, but I see something beautiful to learn from this type of artwork. The things that we waste our lives worrying about--money, jobs, possessions--these things are not what defines us. If someone were to gather all the things that represented me when I died, I would not want to be surrounded by expensive things and useless objects. Rather, I would want to be surrounded by people--people who carry stories of my life, who can speak for what kind of person I was. I would rather make a difference in one person's life than make a million dollars.
Some may see this type of artwork as morbid, and in a way it is. However, to me, it's a reminder of the things I want to do with my life and the things I want to avoid.
Click here for a brief overview of the Vanitas style of artwork.
0 comments
Arg!
7:09 PM
Well I managed to make something that I really like, but I lost my pages. I can't figure out how to edit the classic templates to how I want them...I probably should have never edited my blog so much to begin with. Change the header...that's all I should have done.
In other news--Pretty Little Liars is on tonight! I can't wait!
In other news--Pretty Little Liars is on tonight! I can't wait!
Labels: Pretty Little Liars, ramblings, television
0 commentsNew layout.
Monday, August 9, 2010 5:48 PM
Forever Young.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 10:45 AM
Sometimes I wish we could go back to how we used to be. Don't get me wrong, I like the person I've become and I like where my life is going. I think most of us are finally becoming the people that we want to be. But one of us got lost along the way and I don't know how to get it back. We used to be so innocent. We used to be so loving. Now the demons that plague our lives has reared its ugly head and has grabbed ahold of one of us. I pray that it will let go and we can all finally ban together and heal, but before that day comes we're being torn apart. Sometimes the love we all feel for each other gets pushed down by the fear and the anger. I wish this weren't so but it just is. I look at your face in this picture and I see this spark of innocence and wonder. You had your whole life ahead of you here, and believe it or not you still do. You could still have a long life ahead of you, but you have to find the strength to fight the evil that's holding you back. As much as we all want to, we can't do it for you--YOU have to be the one to save yourself. But if (I hesitate to say when because I just don't know) you make that decision, the rest of us are here to help and to love and to guide you to a better, happier path.
0 comments
Here we go!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 10:22 AM
Yesterday kicked off my summer semester of college. I am taking nine credit hours this summer, which means two classes for the month of June and one class for the month of July. I can tell it's going to be a busy summer, but I guess that's a good thing. In those couple of weeks I had between the end of the spring semester and the beginning of the summer, I was already bored out of my mind. Because I'm going to be taking so many credit hours, I don't have time for a job so I didn't have that to keep me busy.
But now I have something, which is awesome. Oh, and today I'm getting cable in my room and then Saturday the people from Best Buy are coming to mount my TV. Go me!
Labels: ramblings
0 comments...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010 5:52 PM
I know it's been a little while since I've posted, but for some reason I just don't have anything to share. I've been really avoiding my usual haunts on the Internet...that's probably due to my new found obsession with Lost. Instead of spending hours on random websites, I just watch episode after episode. But I can't help it! It's so ridiculously addicting, and the detective deep down inside is desperately trying to figure out all the secrets of that mysterious island.
There is plenty of other things I could be doing. But I'm not. Oh well.
1 comments